Friday, August 30, 2013

Gunfighter: Jim Riley

Gunfighter Jim Riley was slow to gall.
But don't be fooled, he was quick on the draw.
There ain't much about him in western folklore,
Except one event with blood, guts, and gore.

Minding his business, just sipping his brand,
When in walk three 'pokes with pistols in hand.
The one in the lead stomps up to his friend,
And barks aloud like a stinkin' gut wind.

All hell broke loose when triggers were pulled,
And Riley's blood boiled as if it were brewed.
The first thing he did was lock the front door
Before he began to settle the score.

First, another friend gave it a go.
Got gut-shot instead, a death painful and slow.
When Riley took aim and let bullets fly,
Most hit their mark, and more men did die.

Two to the legs and the instigator fell.
Riley's first regret: not sending him to hell.
But the other two had no such luck,
They took lead in the chest: forgot to duck.

Blood was still pumping, Riley was hyped.
Confusion took over, common sense wiped.
Riley turned and saw a man by the door,
Raised his six-shooter and fired once more.

The man was unarmed, just trying to vacate.
He should've stayed low, and not tempted fate.
Some say he was lucky not to have died,
But the rest of his life he wanted to hide.

The bullet tore off the tip of his nose.
The poor guy had nothing to hold when he blows.
Riley regretted mistake number two;
Leavin' him noseless, he felt like a fool.

Now the Newton General Massacre's known far and wide;
Second only to Tombstone, where bodies abide.
But Riley would fade from gun play and history,
Adding to the truth -- an air of mystery.

Thursday, August 29, 2013

Hard Headed or Brainless: Outlaw Marvin Kuhms

"J.W. Wilson," the alias of Marvin Kuhms
Was most likely born under a whiskey moon.
Bank robber and thief,
Ten years spreading grief,
With the big bully style of a modern-day goon.

Instead of caressing curvaceous buns,
Kuhms was known to sleep with two guns.
So the posse he'd meet
Came in with stocking feet
And surprised him like a bad case of the runs.

Marshall Laird told him not to draw,
And waved his six-shooter close to Kuhms jaw.
But the ornery cuss
Did what he must,
Only to be shot in the head by the law.

Somehow Kuhms survived his foolish attempt,
And was sent to the pen with indignant contempt.
So when Kuhms made parole
He again chose to go
And steal for himself the life that he dreamt.

He figured he'd have to put in some hustle
To make up lost time, so he started to rustle.
But another brain fart
Doomed his plan from the start:
A farmer shot him dead when fearing a tussle.

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Farewell Elmore Leonard

from Elmer Leonard. com

The world seems a little bit darker now that Elmore Leonard -- who passed on August 20th -- has gone to the last round-up in the sky. His brand of western tale always took the reader to a place that was hard but understandable, and new, yet somehow familiar. And it was always a place to be entertained. So long, pardner. We’ll miss you, but we know that your legacy will continue.

If you haven’t had a chance to read the western fare by Elmore Leonard, you really ought to give yourself the opportunity. You can catch them all with “The Complete Western Stories of Elmore Leonard,” and then move on to his non-western stories, since he had a far-reaching talent.
from Cowboys and Girls at pinterest. com


Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Outlaw and Unlucky Lover: James Jenkins

James Jenkins was an outlaw,
A profession he adored.
It's said that he killed ten red men,
With eight white men also scored.

Some died in Missouri,
And some down Texas way,
Others were killed in Iowa
And Cal-i-for-ni-a.

In the latter state,
Over in Napa City,
Jenkins gave his black heart
To a gal he thought was pretty.

The couple came together,
Even though she was a Misses.
He knew he had to have her;
Her heart is as dark as his is.

The unsuspecting hubby,
The poor slob, Patrick O'Brien,
Was befriended by Jenkins,
But was clueless 'bout his lyin'.

Then Jenkins let the Misses
Put him on the spot.
He would be the killer
In her murder plot.

She wanted her hubby gone.
In reality she said,
"Pull your pistol, Lover,
And shoot that bastard dead."

So Jenkins drank his courage
And did the dirty deed.
But he was caught and hanged,
While Mrs. O'Brien was freed.

Monday, August 26, 2013

A Lawless Lawman: Jack Helm

Jack Helm was a racist S.O.B.
Who wore the grey and favored slavery.
He even did wrong
Over a Yankee song
That a black man whistled with bravery.

And when there was no Civil War,
You could find him with a star that he bore
In the great state of Texas
Where he hated the Mex's,
And everyone else that's for sure.

Helm got caught-up in the Sutton-Taylor feud;
The type of duty that befit his evil mood.
A prime instigator,
He was head regulator,
And the days he didn't kill he'd sulk and brood.

His body count raised his reputation.
The Governor even gave him a new station.
But when deeds come to light
Causing citizens fright,
He's sent back to DeWitt for the duration.

John Wesley Hardin was one of Helm's foes:
A kin to the Taylor's, or so the story goes.
Several times they met,
Their back-ups vented and wet,
Yet Hardin and Helm escaped the death throes.

But in eighteen-seventy-three, in the month of July,
The two evil rivals would have one more try.
Helm came from the rear,
Hardin turned with a sneer,
To blast Helm with buckshot: his day to die.

Lincoln County War Survivor: Jim French

Jim French took part in the Lincoln County War.
From regulator to outlaw to settle a score.
Thought he flipped his lid
After joining Billy the Kid,
And nearly dying at McSween's general store.

French was there when Brady raved and cussed,
Just before he and Hindman bit the dust.
But the McSween episode
Turned his blood ice cold,
So he headed for "obscurity or bust."